A Failing Heart
by BSwan.N
Summary: What would happen if Bella Never jumped off the Cliff? What would happen when she found herself becoming closer and closer to Jacob? Will Edward ever come back? Will they ever be together?
1. Chapter 1

A Failing Heart

This is based in New Moon when Bella decides to jump off the Cliff. But what if she didn't? What if Edward never went to Italy to kill himself? What if Alice never came back? What if Bella became closer and closer to Jacob? Will Edward ever come back?

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**Preface**

All I have known is pain. Pain. That's it. I've said that time passes and that even though it ticks by slowly it does pass. But what about pain? Does pain ever pass? Does it ever cease? Are you able to live through life knowing that the best part of your life was all a lie? To live through life with pain that literally tears you apart is like trying to live through hell when you are on fire all the time, nowhere to escape to. And trying to move on, move on without him was like trying to escape a room when you were surrounded by fire. Impossible. Unless you walked through the flames, causing yourself intense pain. And that's what I must do. Walk through the flames.

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**Chapter one  
regrets.**

I made my way to La Push in silence. I was hoping that I would hear his glorious voice, his amazingly calming velvet voice. I parked my truck by the side of the dirt track and got out. It was so cold. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep myself from the cold and the pain I endure everyday when I wasn't around Jacob. The pain that had terrorised me for six excruciating months. The creator of the pain was who I would hear in just moments.

As I tripped and followed the faint dirt path to the cliff I realised I saw no other route to go. Where was this smaller ledge Jacob had told me about? I continued to look for an alternative route but the path in front of me never swayed and stayed in a straight line leading me towards the cliff. I continued to follow it until I came to the cliff edge. The wind was fierce and whipped around me and hit my face leaving it frozen and stiff. I was having second thoughts about this now. If I jumped I would hear Edward's voice. But if I didn't then I wouldn't hear his voice.

I thought I had made up my mind as I made my way closer to the cliff edge, but just as I removed my jacket and stepped to very edge, the waters below crashed against the rocks below and swirled so violently they looked as though they were waiting for me and wanting to swallow me.

"Don't."

It was working. I could hear his voice as if he was right beside me. Protecting me.

I took another step to test him.

"Don't do this. Please. For everybody who loves you and for everybody you love." He said. His voice was no longer stern and fierce, it was soft and pleading. He was pleading for me to think this through.

"You won't stay with me any other way." I said to the imaginary voice in my head.

"Please. Don't do it. For me." He whispered in the wind.

I was sure that I had heard him wrong. That he had said something else and my ears, no my head was playing tricks on me. He was just the voice inside my head. My conscience. He wouldn't of said that if he stood right next to me now.

But what if he did care about me and I was just about to do the most stupid thing that might separate us forever- as the swirling black waters didn't look inviting.

I stepped back and tried to think through my actions again. If I jumped it didn't look very good and I had promised to do nothing rash for Charlie's sake. At the thought of Charlie I stepped away and picked up my Jacket. I took one last look at the cliff edge and down at the waters below and quickly raced back to my truck. I had promised Him that I wouldn't do anything reckless and I would keep my promise today. But that wouldn't stop me from hearing his voice. Hearing his fictional concern for me.

I was scared at my last look at the waters. A red flame was floating on the surface as I had peaked over the edge and it terrified me so much that I started my truck and hit the gas. I was soon speeding my way down the dirt road and back towards Forks.

Jacob was waiting for me when I got back. He was sitting on my porch and was staring down at his hands which held a handful of bright red hair. I gulped. Grabbing my jacket, I jumped out of my truck and ran over to Jacob who caught me in his arms and hugged me tightly.

"Jacob I was so scared." I sobbed into his chest. I tightened my hold on him and buried my face in his bare chest.

"Honey, what happened?" He asked, hugging me tightly before pulling away to look at me.

"I was taking a walk in La Push," I lied, "And I was on the cliff and as I looked over the edge I saw a bright red flame floating in the water. I thought it looked like..." I stared down at the flame red hair in his hands.

He pulled me into his arms again, "Shush, your safe. I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you."

I was suddenly very glad I had Jacob and glad that I had decided not to jump off the cliff. I wouldn't tell him the truth. The truth that I heard voices in my head that belonged to the creator of my misery and pain and that I was stupid enough to consider jumping off a cliff when there was a evil and thunderous storm on the horizon and a murderous Vampire on the loose who wanted to kill me because of the person behind all of my heartbreak.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.  
Decisions.

Jacob, slouched on my couch, turned to look at me and smiled. This week, had been a bit different to most weeks. After I had nearly jumped off the cliff and into the black waters, in which Victoria was waiting for me, Jacob hadn't let me out of his sights.

I had told him the day after that I was going for a walk on the beach. He didn't take that to well. He told me that it wasn't safe and that if I went and Victoria was nearby that he might not be able to fight her off all by himself. At the thought of the struggle that might happen between him and Victoria, I decided that I would stay at home. Jacob was so paranoid that he even crept into my room and fell asleep next to me on my bed now.

"Bells?" Jacob said. I turned my head and looked into his dark brown eyes. They were sad.

"What's up Jake? You look sad." I cocked my head to the side to try and read his face as he looked down.

"It's nothing." He turned back to the TV.I wasn't giving up that easy.

"Jake, what is it? Please, tell me." I said turning his head to face me with my hand, as gently as possible.

He ignored me for a moment before moving his eyes to stare into mine. "Its...I wonder if you'll be mad?"

He confused me with his train of thought and I listened eagerly.

"It's them." He told me. I didn't need him to say their name; he knew it would hurt me if he did.

"What about them?" I asked, still as eager, even though I knew it would hurt me.

"I caught one of theirs scent while trying to track Victoria. It wasn't hers, I know what her scent is like, and it's different to theirs. Less sickly. Anyway the trail was leading towards Forks and I was wondering if you had heard anything? From them I mean." He was staring at me in the most curious manner; I hadn't noticed that my breathing had stopped and that I was gripping his arm as hard as I could.

"No." I said, my voice breaking in places. That gave how much pain I was in away and Jacob wrapped his warm bare arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I won't bring it up again." He told me, trying to make me feel better. But I didn't want to feel better I only wanted to know one thing,

"When?" I asked, my voice breaking again.

"A week. But the trail keeps getting closer every day. Getting closer to this place." His voice broke off into whisper as he spoke the last few words.

My breathing kicked up a notch and I turned to stone. Jake felt me freeze and pulled me closer and into one of his warm hugs. I didn't push him away and instead wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his t-shirt.

"I shouldn't of brought it up, I'm so sorry." He whispered in my ear. I sighed. I knew that this would happen, that I would get my hopes up on a stupid trail of a scent that could belong to any other vampire.

"Jake, it's not your fault, I wanted to know. Don't blame yourself." I tried to reassure him; he always blamed himself even when it wasn't his fault.

He nodded and pulled away to kiss my forehead. I repositioned myself on the couch so I was leaning against Jacob. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

I knew that even though it had been months since He had left, I still wondered why I had such a hard time saying his name. Or even thinking about him. At night when Jacob crept into my room and stayed with me, I remembered all the times He had held me and kissed me and told me he loved me. It didn't hurt as much as it would of if I was alone, but with Jacob there it was, not easier because it still pained me, but it didn't hurt me as bad afterwards. I knew that I would have to make some decisions about my future, because at the present time I didn't do anything.

Charlie was hoping I would go to college, far away from here in order to get over, Him, but I had other plans and none of them involved me leaving Forks. At the present time I couldn't even think about leaving Jacob, not after everything he'd done for me, and everything that I had done to him. I couldn't leave my sun, I imagined that if I did leave I would go back into the state I was in before Jake and I were best friends. I couldn't risk that. For Charlie's, for Jake's and for my own sake, I wouldn't let that happen. 

I opened my eyes and found myself lying in my bed, no guesses as to how I got here. Looking over to my window I spotted Jacob sitting in my rocking chair, smiling. I felt a sudden sense of déjà vu.

I sat up, "Morning."

"I didn't know you talked in your sleep. That is until last night." He smiled.

I threw the covers over my head, "Oh no!"

As I buried my face into my pillow I realised why everything had seemed so familiar. Just year at around this time, the reason behind all of my heartbreak had sat in that exact same chair and had watched me sleep and heard me talk. I blocked out that memory and pulled the covers from over my head.

"What did I say?" I asked warily.

Jacob's smile disappeared and I knew it was bad, really bad.

"That bad huh?" I said, hanging my head.

"You said . . . that you loved him, still." He said slowly, "And then you wished he would come back."

I didn't look up but kept my head down, not wanting to meet his eyes. I still dreamed about him but I didn't know I still talked about him in my sleep. I thought that I was over the whole talking in my sleep about Edward thing. Obviously not.

"I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that. You've been struggling with me as it is." I said, still not meeting his eyes.

"I'm going to have to go now. Sam wants me to run the perimeter again to see if she'd come back. I'll be back soon." He kissed my forehead then jumped out of my window.

I sat there for ages, trying to make myself breath evenly, failing every time I tried. I was stupid to still be cut up about this after all this time. An ordinary person would have gotten over this in a matter of weeks, not months and yet I'm still not over him. I'm unable to move on, as if he's holding me in the same place, the place where he left me, but the place where I still love him.

If I had the choice to get over him I would take it, just so that I didn't hurt my dad and Jacob, because hurting them is the worst thing I can do. But if Dad and Jacob weren't around I wouldn't take that choice, I wouldn't want to move on. Just like now, I don't want to move on, no matter how much it hurts, I don't want to let him go.

My door cracked open a fraction and my dad peered in.

"You okay Bells?" He asked.

I nodded, "I'm fine. Why?"

"I heard you talking last night; you were really loud, shouting and pleading. I was worried." He said his brow creasing.

I bit my lip, "Good job you didn't hear what I said." I mumbled.

"I heard you all right and bells, maybe you should see someone. I know you've been hanging around with Jake and you're much better but you're still not all there. You're still hanging onto things. Things that are better off being let go of." He said.

"It's hard. I wanted to let go, to move on, but now. . ." I trailed off.

"What?"

"I don't know if I want to." I said.

"Bells, it's for the best. Trust me. You're breakfast is downstairs. Okay?"

"Sure sure." I said, smiling at the remark I had picked up from Jake.

That day was relatively quiet. I cleaned the house, did my homework and then decided that I should try and read something I hadn't read since he left me, knowing what painful memories it would bring up.

I flicked open the cover and read the title; Romeo and Juliet.

I didn't know if I could do this, reading a book which brought up so many memories of the past, a past which I wanted to forget, bit wanted to hang onto as well. It was so hard to do what was best and what you wanted. What was best for me was to forget about him to forget all about his family and the life we could have had, but what I wanted was a completely different thing; I wanted to be with him, to never let go and not forget about him worried that I would love somebody else that wasn't him.

I read up until when Romeo sees Juliet and then I closed the book and threw at the wall in my frustration.

I had to move on. I just had to.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I walked across the wet sand, hands in my pockets hoping Jake would be back soon. I needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him I was able to move on and that I really liked him, more than what I should.

I sat down on the large driftwood branch that me and Jacob had sat on before and waited, gazing out at the calm grey sea. The sun was hiding behind the clouds again so it was still pretty dull but something about today seemed brighter.

"Bella!"

I turned to see Jake walking swiftly towards, his face distressed.

"Jake what is it?" I said as he stopped in front of me.

"She's on the run. We've got to go after her." He told me.

I was confused, "What? I thought that's what you were doing?"

"We kept giving up when ever she got to far away but Sam agrees that if we give up she'll just come back quicker. So we're going to chase her until we get her." He told me.

"I still don't understand." I said, understanding clearly.

"We'll set off in an hour and we won't be back until we get her." He told me looking into my eyes, "We won't be back for a few days. Or weeks. It depends."

I nodded my head, "So I'll be alone?"

"Bella. . . I'll be back before you can miss me." He smiled slightly.

"Please, don't go. Do they really need all of you to go?" I pleaded.

"Strength in numbers." He said simply.

I sighed, "Okay."

Jacob sighed, "Bella, you'll be fine. I promise."

Jacob smiled once and then walked back down the beach before disappearing into the nearby forest.

I exhaled and wrapped my arms around my chest.

I sat there for what felt like forever, wondering and waiting to see if Jake would come back. Of course I knew he wouldn't. He was long gone. Running through the trees after Victoria, for me. It helped a little bit. Knowing he was doing this for me, to keep me safe, even if she could hurt him. I sighed and decided to make my way home.

I got up from the branch and walked up the path towards Jacob's house. I stared at the ground, the wet leaf covered ground, not wanting to end up in hospital at this very moment. I reached Jake's house eventually, my hands slightly dirty from stopping my self from falling and my jeans were a little mud ridden from slipping on what I had though was a rock when really it was an slippy hazardous leaf.

I clambered into my truck, wiping the mud from my jeans and examining the grazes on my hand. It was then that I noticed a piece of paper on my dashboard. I unfolded it and read Jake's scruffy writing;

I'll be back soon. Don't worry.

Jacob x

"Bells, seriously , you can't just wait around for him. He's not going to be back yet." Charlie was fed up with me, after three weeks without any contact from Jake I was kind of going mad.

"Dad, Billy told me he won't be back soon. I know that but it doesn't mean I can't wait for him, does it?" I said placing his dinner in front of him.

"No but even if you're waiting for him you still need to do something. You can't just sit around all day. It's not natural." He replied taking a bite of steak.

I ignored him and sat down with my food, taking small bites, trying not to let it get to me.

"I mean you're nearly as bad as before . . . " Charlie trailed off and I dropped my fork. "Bells, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up." He said as I stared at my plate.

"I'm not hungry anymore." I said quietly, getting up and swiftly leaving the room.

I walked quickly up the stairs and into my room, staring at the picture of me and Jake I took just a few days before he left to hunt Victoria. I hated feeling so alone. With nobody to turn to. I knew I had Charlie but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as if I had Jacob or . . . No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say his name.

I sat down on my bed and stared out of my window wondering if Jacob was ok and wondering whether they'd caught her yet.

It was then that I knew what I had to do. The only thing to do so I wasn't so alone and there was one word which would help me; Reckless.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I started planning immediately. Where to go, where would I hear Edward again? I contemplated for awhile in my room before coming up with the decision to just wander about the woods. Edward had always warned me about wandering about on my own so maybe the voice in my head would feel some kind of concern for my safety.

It was just after ten o'clock at night when I crept silently out of my room and down the stairs. Charlie had been in bed for a good half an hour so I doubted he would be alert enough to stop me from sneaking out. I locked the door behind me and walked towards the path which led towards the forest. It was extremely cold and the rain made it worse. I was glad I had worn my thermal t-shirt underneath my shirt. The forest was dark and gloomy, my boots squelched in the mud and snapped a few twigs-as I went further into the forest-making me jump. I became tired after awhile and was concerned that the voice in my head had disappeared. Not a sound. Not one murmur from him. Nothing.

I stopped and sighed. This was a stupid idea. A very stupid idea. I was about to turn back when I heard a rustle behind me and a twig snap.

I spun around to find nothing.

I had imagined it. My mind was playing tricks on me. It wouldn't be the first time. But then I heard it again and an eerie 'whoosh'. I spun around again and found nothing. This was my worst idea ever. The forest seemed to become misty but when I blinked it was gone. My mind was over imaginative. And then I heard it again, a faint 'whoosh'. It sounded so familiar and yet so terrifyingly familiar. I knew what it was. It was the exact same noise made when a vampire ran through the forest. So why was it circling me?

That was the worst question to ask. It was circling me. A vampire was closing in and nobody was around to help me. Great, I thought. The day – or night – you decide to wander about the forest a vampire is running around most probably hunting. I sure knew how to pick them.

I heard another rustle and a snap of a twig and decided to run.

I didn't have a clue in which direction the path was but I had to run. I ran and stumbled over and over again. My breathing was becoming ragged, my heart was beating faster and the adrenaline was pumping around my body at an inhuman pace. And all the while the whooshing and rustling continued, following me as I ran.

I stumbled and fell to the forest floor. The leaves and ferns cushioned my fall. The whooshing died down and I curled up into a ball hoping that the morning would come soon so that I could find my way home.

I drifted to sleep and as I slept I dreamt.

I was standing in the forest with Edward his perfect face was serious as he stared out ahead. I wanted to comfort him tell him everything was ok and that he should be happy. But then I realised why he was staring ahead seriously.

Jacob stood by a tree; his arms crossed his lips pulled into an evil smirk. He stared intently at Edward and Edward growled, his entire body shaking with the tenor of it. I winced and stepped inbetween them.

Edward said something then which was deaf to my ears but Jacob's smirk disappeared and he trembled, his entire body shaking. He growled and ran at Edward his face determined to hurt him. I was suddenly ten feet away nowhere near where I was before and had no chance of stopping Jacob. He burst into his wolf form and threw Edward into a nearby tree. Edward disintegrated into dust at the impact and I screamed.

I woke with a scream and blinked several times, trying to erase the image of Edward turning to dust. _It was just a dream,_ I told myself. _Just a dream._ I sat up and looked around. It was morning. The sun was just about shining through the trees and the rain had ceased, the atmosphere was happy but I was far from it.

No voice. No hallucinations. Nothing. Not one darn warning, even though I was being stalked.

I sat up and then realised where I was. I was in the trees opposite my back yard. I had run from the side of my house to the back last night. I could have walked back home if I had realised. I was truly annoyed now.

I got up and walked round to the front of the house. Charlie's cruiser was gone so I didn't have to worry about explaining why I was covered in mud or why I looked like I'd seen a ghost. I could go in and have a shower without being questioned about my whereabouts. Perfect.

I walked into the kitchen and found a note by the phone.

Where the hell were you? I wake up this morning to find you bed empty. You've got some explaining to do missy.

Dad x

I was in so much trouble, so much for no explanations. I headed for the stairs just as the phone rang.

At first I was going to ignore it-it might have been Charlie-but then I realised Charlie would have waited behind to talk to me. So I walked back to the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked picking up the phone.

"Bella, its Billy."

I was surprised; I usually called him, "Hey Billy. Charlie's not here. He's at work.

"I was calling to talk to you actually. Jacob called about three minutes ago saying he was on his way back." He told me.

I smiled, "Thank you so much for telling me. Tell Jacob to call me or come round when he gets back. Please?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Of course. Talk to you soon Bella. Take care."

"You too Billy. Bye." And he hung up.

I skipped upstairs and into my room. Pleased with how soon Jacob would be back. I really needed him back.


	5. Chapter 5

I forgot to put a message at the beginning of the last chapter so this one is kind of two in one.

Thank you for all the comments and a special thank you to **pastelroses** without whom this chapter and the last would not have been written.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Please review!

Chapter 5

I hardly slept that night; I couldn't stop thinking about how close Jacob was or could be. I tossed and turned trying to reach some kind of tiredness but I couldn't, I just kept thinking about Jake. I needed to see him. I needed him back.

I finally found some kind of rest at three o'clock in the morning. I slept for a few hours before I woke, my head spinning my eyes wide awake already. I jumped out of bed and raced to get ready. I raced to have a shower, throwing on the first clothes my fingers could grab in my closest when I'd finished, throwing down a bowl of cereal and then standing by the phone, waiting.

I didn't realise how tired I was until my eye lids started to droop and my head swayed as I waited on the counter. I blinked several times and yawned. I decided that the only way to keep myself awake was to stand up and not to lean on anything. It worked before so why not now?

I stood there waiting for ages. It was past twelve in the afternoon when I gave up my method of standing up and sat down on a chair. Just as I sat down the phone rang.

I raced to get up and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella?" A husky voice replied.

"Jacob? Jacob you're back!" I cheered down the phone.

"Calm down Bella. Billy can hear you." He chuckled.

I took a deep breath, "I can't wait to see you."

"Me too. I've missed you so much. You don't know how much." He told me his voice soft.

"I've missed you too." This conversation was beginning to be a little bit awkward, "I'm coming down to see you now."

"I'll be waiting for you at the beach. Hurry." He said.

"I will. Bye."

"Bye Bella."

And he hung up.

I grabbed my keys and left a note for Charlie telling him where I was, and then rushing to my truck to get to La Push as quickly as possible. I pushed my truck to its absolute limit. It wheezed and chugged as I tried to push it over fifty five miles per hour. I made it to La Push within fifteen minutes and literally ran down the beach to where Jacob was. I spotted him on the branch we usually sat on and just as he got up to greet me I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.

"Why so enthusiastic Bella?" He chuckled.

I kicked his leg, "Can't I be happy to see you?" I asked.

"Of course you can." He smiled, kissing my forehead.

I sat down on the branch and pulled Jake to sit next to me. He put an arm around my waist and I held his other in my lap. I leaned my head against his shoulder and we stayed like that for what felt like hours. I sighed.

"What?" He asked me, rubbing my back.

"I just realised how much I've missed you. And how much I've been moping about." I told him.

"What? You're not supposed to be moping around, remember last time? Think of Charlie." He sounded appalled.

"I'm sorry, but I had nothing to do. And I had nobody to make me happy again." I confessed.

He smiled and kissed my head "Silly girl. Am I the only thing that makes you happy?"

I nodded, "You're mending me."

He sighed, "I know, but you still love him right?"

I nodded and winced at the pain that rippled through me, but it was over as soon as it at came, Jacob's presence seemed to shield me from it. Or at least ease the pain.

"Bella, you're not alone. I love you. And wish you loved me too." He confessed.

I turned my face to him and he was sad, the warm smile gone, replaced with sad one. I put my hand on his cheek,

"Don't be sad. Please, it's not your fault I don't love you, it's mine." I told him.

He looked up at the cliffs which run right next to the border line and froze. I went to turn around to see what he was staring at but he grabbed my face in his hot hands and crushed my lips to his.

I struggled in his arms as he moved his lips against mine. I refused to give in to him and thrashed about while he kissed me. He finally let me go and as soon as he did I slapped him across the face.

He cursed loudly and I simply got up and stormed back to my truck.

"Bella! Wait! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that. Please come back!" Jacob called after me.

I carried on walking and ignored his many pleas. As soon as I got to my truck I got in and started the engine. I could see Jake running over to my truck so I reversed out and drove away, watching Jacob call after me in my rear-view mirror.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I drove back to forks. How could Jacob do this to me? How could he take advantage of me like that? After I'd told him that I didn't love him that way he still went ahead and kissed me. What was his problem? Did he want drive me away? Didn't he want to be friends?

When I got to my house I noticed the front door was partly open and the light was on in the living room. I hadn't realised how long I'd been waiting for Jacob to call this morning but it was late afternoon now, and getting dark.

I got out of my truck quietly and didn't even bother to close my door. I walked slowly up to the house as not to scare whoever was in my house. Charlie wouldn't be back yet so I knew that it had to be a burglar or . . . I couldn't think of anybody else. I pushed the door open carefully ad walked in. I rounded the corner and walked into the living room.

I stopped abruptly when I entered the room and gasped.

He stared at me, his eyes smouldering, his hair tousled, and his face more beautiful than I remembered. He put the picture down that was in his hands. It was of me and Jake laughing, his arm wrapped around me. I swayed slightly and then felt myself falling to the ground.

Two strong arms caught me and held me there, just inches from the floor. I stared up at his black eyes and had trouble trying to calm my heart down.

He chuckled lightly, "One thing hasn't changed."

I managed to crack a smile but I couldn't help think I was dreaming. Maybe this whole day was a dream, Jacob coming back, Jacob kissing me, me coming home to find the love of my existence standing in my living room. Maybe it was all a dream.

I wanted to see if he could really be here and I knew if he really was here he would, if he still loved me that is.

"Kiss me." I asked.

He shook his head, "Do you forgive me?"

I realised what he meant, "Yes. I forgave you the moment I saw you."

"How? How can you forgive me so easily? After everything I've done, how can you forgive me?" He seemed pained to say this, as if he thought I might take back what I just said, that I didn't forgive him.

"Because I love you." I told him.

He pulled us upright and sighed, "I saw you with Jacob, on the beach, kissing." His eyes were sad and he looked down so that I couldn't see his face.

"I wondered why Jacob kissed me so suddenly. He saw you, didn't he?" I asked, putting two and two together and getting the answer of jealousy.

He nodded, "I won't stand in your way if you want to be with Jacob. I'll go back to where I've been for the past six months and never come back, I won't get inbetween –"

"I don't want to be with Jacob." I cut him off. "I'm not with Jacob. He's my best friend."

Edward's smile returned, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yes. The only person I want to be with is you. I love you. But I can understand if you don't love me and you don't want to be with me." My face dropped and I forced back the tears that were on the edge of tipping over if he said he didn't want me.

"Bella," He sighed, "Of course I want to be with you, you silly girl, I love you. I love you with my whole heart, my whole soul, my whole being. I can't be with anyone but you. You're my other half, without you, I'm nothing." He proclaimed lifting my head up with his hand.

He had just described how I felt about him. How much I loved him, everything. I smiled and asked him,

"So you'll stay with me?"

The most dazzling smile lit up across his face, "For all eternity."

He smiled the crooked smile I knew and loved and pressed his lips gently against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck deepening the kiss, moving my lips against his, trying to make the most of the moment because it could all be gone in one split second. I still wasn't sure if he really was here.

"Bella . . ." He breathed against my lips.

I smiled and kissed him again. This time he was the one that deepened the kiss, moving his lips against mine, in a head spinning way. I had to break away to catch my breath and when I did he pulled us upright ad crushed me to his chest, winding his arms around my waist.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you too." He replied.

"Isn't this romantic?" A husky voice proclaimed.

We broke apart and looked towards the archway.

"Jacob." I said.

"Dog." Edward growled.

"Bloodsucker." Jacob snarled.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

BPOV

Jacob stood in the doorway to the living room, his fists clenched, his face twisted in rage. I flinched at the sight of him and Edward stood protectively in front of me. I knew this wouldn't end well, with Jacob so angry he was bound to lose some control and he wouldn't have a chance against Edward if he wasn't thinking clearly. But Edward might not be strong enough to protect himself, Jacob's anger made him stronger, even if he wasn't thinking clearly; he would be using his strength instead of his brain. Suddenly my dream was becoming very real. Jacob and Edward fighting, in the woods nearby, me stood close by but not being able to do anything as they charged towards each other.

I grabbed Edward's arm and stepped in front of him, protecting him from Jacob, and Jacob from him. I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt Edward if it meant hurting me. He cared about me and after everything we'd been through already he wasn't about to hurt me just because his enemy was behind me.

Jacob took a step forward, his face changing from anger to something else, the anger he had washed away as he took in my stance and his eyes became sad. I realised what he must be thinking, he thought I was choosing Edward over him, protecting Edward from him. He thought I thought he would hurt him.

I relaxed my body and took a step forward so I was now in front of Jacob,

"Don't fight," I whispered, "If you hurt each other it will hurt me, I don't want you to get hurt. Please."

Jacob's fist relaxed and he reached out to me, his face sad, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him closely, telling him I still cared. Jacob held me tightly and buried his face in my hair. I smiled and remembered all the other times we had been like this, and how everything was going to change from now on.

I pulled away and sighed sadly. That would be the last time we would ever be like that.

Suddenly Edward growled from behind me and I turned to him, confused. His face was contorted with anger and he glared at Jacob, then he held out his hand roughly to me. I stared at his face and his golden eyes and. I stepped away from him and Jacob.

Edward's gaze focused on me then, his eyes becoming confused as he watched my face, my actions and he held out his hand again, gently this time, as if he knew what I was thinking, as if he knew he might lose me.

"Bella," He whispered slowly, painfully, sadly.

I couldn't find my feet, I couldn't move towards him, to take his hand and reassure him he wouldn't lose me again. I couldn't but I didn't know why. Maybe it was my self concious telling me that I couldn't trust him again. That I couldn't go to him because I felt I might get hurt again.

I went to speak but he silenced me with his hand.

He hung his head and walked slowly out of the room, his head lifted once to look at me but when he saw me his head dropped again and he walked out of the door. But before he left he placed a package on the coffee table with a note on top. I heard the door close and then he was gone, I didn't know if I'd ever see him again.

The tears rolled down my cheek and I turned back to Jacob and threw my arms around him and sobbed.

"Shh, it'll be alright." Jacob soothed and rubbed my back.

"No, it won't. He's gone after he promised he wouldn't leave again." I sobbed.

I had been right. It was my self concious telling me that I would be hurt again and it had been right. He left me and took my heart with him again.

"I'm here Bella. You don't need him, you have me, I won't leave you. Ever." Jacob whispered in my ear.

I hugged him closer and continued to sob.

What would I do now?

Review! I'm sorry it took so long laptops crashed and I lost a lot of my stories! Xx

Next chapter up soon xxx


	7. Chapter 7

**Heya, my lovely readers.**

**I hope you've all had an amazing Christmas. I know I have so MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**I know its been a little while but I have three stories is progress on here not to mention my own story none twilight related to try and write so I apologise.**

**Thanks to pastel roses for all her help and inspiration for this chapter and very other chapter I've written. Love you loads! **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter as I have writing it. Xxxxxx**

**Bella xx**

**I seriously recommend listening to ****"Nobody Home" by Metric ****when reading this. Maybe on repeat for a few times :)**** Jokes. Just listen xx**

** I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Okay Edward belongs to me a little. ;) xx**

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Chapter 7

It had been nearly a month since Edward had turned up, given me my heart back and stole it and ran away. Again. And it hurt just as much as the first time. Maybe worse. In any case I was nearly as bad as last time, which wasn't helping Charlie much. Or . . . Jacob.

He'd had been just as supportive as the first time. No surprise there. I think he would be as supportive no matter how many times something like this happens. He had held me and let me cry for hours before Charlie came home when he took me up to my bed before explaining what had happened to Charlie. After lying with me in my bed for endless hours I finally fell asleep and I woke to find him there. I had thought it all a dream but then reality hit me and I broke down again, with Jacob there to comfort me.

I hadn't touched the package he'd left behind. I didn't want to feel anymore pain. What I was going through now was enough to make me clutch the hole in my chest which was larger and excruciatingly painful. I was so curious as to what he could have wanted me to have. But I refused to open it. I wouldn't open it even if my life depended it because the pain wasn't worth it. Death would be easier. But I had Charlie and Jacob to think about when I felt like that. When I felt like death would be the better alternative to this pain. But I knew I didn't have the guts or courage to do that. And I didn't want to think of what it would do to Charlie or Jacob.

I literally did nothing now. I had graduated and applied for the nearest college and was waiting for my acceptance letter. If it didn't come I still had my job at the store which would keep me going. So apart from going to work every three days I sat in my room on a chair and stared out my window. Hoping to see something that would bring me comfort. **Him**. Hopefully.

Jacob stopped by everyday to see me. To try and heal me again. He had had a set back in the "Plan to Heal Bella" department and it was taking a toll on both of us. I was snapping easily at Jacob whenever we talked and he would shout at me, bring **him **up and I would break down in tears. This day usually ended up with me and Jacob apologising and then him holding me while I cried out as much of the pain I was holding onto as possible.

I picked up my book off my nightstand and turned over and sat up to see Jacob curled up, his breath slow and deep, his eyes closed and his hands resting under his cheek. He looked so peaceful. The most he'd looked in about a month. He'd been so stressed out about me after **he **had left again that I doubt he got a goodnights sleep with me next to him. Wondering what time I would wake up screaming again? Or would I call out for **him **in my sleep and beg him to come back? These are the things which kept me from falling asleep. I would purposely stay awake so I didn't disturb my dad or Jacob in the night. So I didn't worry Jacob about how I was coping.

I sighed quietly and slipped out of bed slipping on my dressing gown as I headed for my closet. Searching for my hiking books wasn't a very quiet activity, as much as I had been hoping for it to be. Grabbing my jacket, jeans and long sleeved thermal I tiptoed out of my room and into the bathroom to change. I had been debating about this idea every night for the past week, listing the pros and cons. How much it would hurt. What would Jacob do if he found out. Which he was bound to when he woke up. All these things had been running through my head and it was only now as I had been reading my book that I realised I needed to do this. I needed to find the meadow again.

Now the amount of pros didn't outweigh the cons so I knew that this wasn't the best thing to be doing right now. The amount of pain that it would cause would be hard to deal with, like last time. Even though I wish Jacob could come with me I needed to be by myself when I did this, when I went there. After getting dressed without knocking anything over in the bathroom, luckily, I tiptoed back into my room grabbed my bag and the book on my nightstand before kissing Jake's cheek and walking swiftly but quietly out of the house.

My truck obviously didn't help with my keeping quiet plan and I saw a light flicker on in the house. Jacob was completely out of it so it was probably Charlie. But that didn't stop me from flooring it as soon as I'd reversed out of the drive. I wasn't taking any chances. I drove out of town until the sidewalk ended and it was just dirt. I parked and saw the trail. I knew we head away from it somewhere in between two dark sycamores so that's the direction I headed in.

After tripping over the same log I had last year and slipping on a rock that I knew I had definitely seen before - even though most rocks around here looked the same - I was convinced I was headed the right way. I clambered in pretty much the same direction, until I saw a row of trees ahead and a dim light coming from in between them. It was then I rushed towards the light slipping many times before finally reaching the edge of the trees and looking out into the most beautiful place I had ever seen. The place I had missed the most.

I walked slowly into the meadow, admiring the flowers and the small amount of sunlight that was lighting up certain areas of the meadow. I could hear the stream nearby and I sighed, smiling slightly at how much it hadn't changed. The lush green grass, the colourful variation of flowers, the heavenly scent of them, the warm relaxing rays of sun, the tall trees which protected my little haven and even the small patch of grass which I remembered sitting in with him.

I closed my eyes and just took everything in. I didn't want to stare for fear of reality crashing down on me, so I listened and felt, and smelt. I stayed like that for ages before I opened my eyes and sank to the floor in the same patch of grass as the first time I was here. I took off my jacket and stuffed it in my bag before pulling out my book and opening it to read from where I had left off this morning. My hand brushed the package he had left and I pulled it out, resting it on the grass next to me near my bag before turning to my book. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

My eyes fluttered open and the sun was literally blinding me now. The meadow was well and truly lit and I strained my eyes as I rolled over onto my back to stare at the sky. It was then, when I saw a shadow next to me. I jumped up immediately and stared in shock at the figure who held the package in his hands. I didn't know what to say, what to do, I was completely frozen to the spot. I stared at his face and the pain that was clearly there, in his black eyes. The pain that was clearly written on his face broke my heart and I found myself falling to my knees next to him.

He was sitting up, his legs crossed, the package now resting in his lap. He seemed to reach out to me but then dropped his hand at the last minute and sighed, staring into my eyes. There was something in his face, his eyes, that made me want to cry. The hurt that was swimming in his eyes broke me and everything I was trying to hold in. I knew I shouldn't touch him, I shouldn't try to tell him how I felt or how much he'd hurt me when he left, for the second time. But all my resolve and restrictions just flew out of the window when I saw him, when I saw the obvious ache in his face and the black orbs that were his eyes. So I reached out to him and stroked his cheek softly, waiting to see what pain would hit me first.

But nothing did.

If anything the pain I had been feeling for the past month seemed to ease, fade away with just a touch.

He automatically leaned into my touch and brought his hand up to cover mine on his cheek. I managed to crack a smile. Everything seemed so perfect. I didn't feel pain, just love for the bronze haired boy in front of me. I brought my other hand up to his neck and rested it there, stroking the skin there, and then messing with the collar of his light blue shirt.

His other hand reached out to my waist and he pulled me gently into his lap. I sighed and smiled at him when his other hand, the hand which had covered my own, went to the edge of my hair and he started to mess with a strand of it.

I don't know how long we sat like that but soon the sky started to dim and the light which flooded the meadow was now a dim orange, telling us it was time for us to go. I sighed and stared into his eyes as he pulled me closer to him resting his head on my heart like the first time we had sat in the meadow. I smiled at the irony of it and kissed his head.

Nothing needed to be said. His presence alone told me everything I needed to know. He loved me, he still wanted me and nothing was going to change that just yet. I knew everything other than why he'd left the second time and why he'd come back. I knotted my fingers in his hair and brought his face up to meet mine. I smiled slightly and blushed at my sudden confidence as I brought my lips to his. He smiled against them as I kissed him and then he kissed me back and everything was perfect.

I was the one to pull away and I pushed him back onto the grass before resting my head on his chest and staring up at the sky. Watching the sun make it's final performance before disappearing behind the horizon. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, tracing circles on our joined hands on his chest. I closed my eyes for a second and took everything in and realised how much I really needed him. He seemed to be able to read my mind and whispered in my ear,

"I love you."

"I love you too." Was my reply.

I knew then - for definite - that nothing was going to spoil this now.

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